ThisMyShiznat

Just about every known cellular phone maker has agreed to implement a universal phone charger for new cellular handsets released in the EU.  As I was reading through the article I was sitting on the edge of my seat with anticipation.  I was saying to my self “Micro USB, come on Micro-USB!!”  well guess what?  Micro-USB for the win!

What is Micro-USB?  Well it looks like this, and Motorola phones have used it for year, as have blackberrys and most consumer digital cameras.  This means that in theory you wont really need a charger, provided you have a computer, because you can just use the micro-USB cable to charge your devices.  (I have also been doing that for years).

Why is this relevant to you?  Well… for most of my readers, it isn’t relevant because this story takes place in the EU, while we just so happen to live in America.  The cell phone makers are using terms like “2012″ to describe the Americas involvement in this groundbreaking deal.

Now, a few weeks ago, they finally turned off the Analog Broadcast channels around the country.  Last year Verizon purchased all of the analog broadcast frequencies that have now been decommissioned.  Under pressure from Google, the FCC declared that the new airwaves must be used to offer an “open network” which will have no limitations on the manufacturer of the phone, or services running on it.  Basically what this would mean is you could purchase any phone, from any manufacture, and get service through whoever you want.

To the non techies, this might sound convenient.  To the true techies at heart, this sounds both FREAKING AWESOME, and a little bit scary at the same time.  Freaking awesome because if all phones are on the same network, the limitations for how they can communicate are greatly reduced.  Open development for new smart phones like the Iphone and the Android will be able to work collaboratively with applications on other types of phones, even phones with different cellular providers.  Verizon will make money by “leasing out” time on their network to other providers.  This does mean that the costs of your cellular phones should go down, and the cost of your cellular service will certainly go up.  In short, the FCC told Verizon they have to “play nice with the competitors”, but that doesn’t mean Verizon wont charge them out the ass for it.

It’s great to have Verizon in charge of the new “Open Network”  because currently Verizon’s technology is more proprietary and locked down than ANY other carrier.  So, yeah… lets trust them to take the lead on this one.

At any rate, the real point of this article is that if the Cellular Manufactures can’t even get a standardized charger to the US by 2012, whats the likelihood that we will EVER see this open network thing?  2020?  maybe….  If ever.

I base much of my life on this philosophy.

I admit that this was not originally my idea, but I improved upon the concept by adding extra steps.  I think this is a much more complete process to follow.

So a few weeks ago my XBOX 360 started locking up.  It would make a horrible noise through the speakers (Sort of a mix between fingernails on a chalkboard and two semi trucks colliding on the freeway), and the screen would freeze and become kinda garbled.  A few days ago, the XBOX stopped turning on altogether, and I started getting the three red lights on the front.  I did get the Red Ring of Death (RRoD), or Ring of Light (RoL) on my system a few years ago and Micro$oft replaced it for free.  It took them like 4 months, but at least it was free.

I found a tutorial online that claims it will fix the E74 error, or the 3 Red Lights error.  Reading through it, the basic principal was that the heat sink was fixed to the CPU and the GPU to tightly, causing flex in the main board, resulting in an intermittent connection.  The tutorial tells you to remove the heat sink, and replace the screws with 10mm machine screws to reduce the pressure on the board.  I was skeptical.

After a trip to Home Depot, where i left empty handed because they didn’t have heat sink compound or the right screws, I went to a local hardware store that did have the screws, but they didn’t have the right washers (weird).  Then to radio shack for the heat sink compound (silver paste of course), then *back* to home depot because they actually did have the washers that I need.  Roughly 20 bucks in parts, I figured it was worth a shot.

Long story short, it didn’t work.  I was rather satisfied to know that when I put the XBox back together,  I did it correctly.  At least it was still doing the same thing, and it didn’t burst into flames or something…  great success.  And like I said, going into it I was skeptical, but for 20 bucks, and 2 hours of my time, i figured why not.  After all, I did get a good story out of it.  And that’s all that really matters.

Has anyone else tried this?  Have you gotten any success with it?  To me, I can see that the fix *might* reduce the likelihood that you will get the red light errors, but *only* if you make the repairs before you get the error.  The online manual seems to imply that it will fix it even afterwards…  I dunno about that one.

I also found another site that claims you can fix a broken XBOX 360 by wrapping it in towels and turning it on for 15 minutes.  I suppose the idea is that by overheating the system and melting the components, your machine will no longer give you the three red rings, because it will be completely blown.  The guy in the video even says that he has no technical ability, and doesn’t understand why wrapping it in towels for 15 minutes would fix it.  It sounds like a bad idea, but you know what?  My XBOX is trashed, so I’ll try it and get back to ya.

*Update*

I referred to the rational descision making flow chart and decided that the risk involved in burning my house down, vs the stupidity of the story if I had to explain that my house burned down because I wrapped my XBOX in towels and tried to make smores…  well… the numbers didn’t add up, so I didn’t do it.

Driving into Boston with some buddies back in the day.  I was the designated driver for the evening.  I was speeding and we get pulled over.  The cop walks up and asks me “Do you know why i pulled you over?”.  I said, “Yes sir, I was driving a little fast.”

The cop asks me “Son, do you have any drugs, alcohol or any other contraband in the vehicle?”. I told him “No sir. We are responsible indivisibles.”   I didn’t even mean to.  It just sorta came out of my mouth.  My friend in the back, who probably did have some sort of ‘contraband’ on him groans when he hears the word indivisible. The cop asks me “Son, did you just say indivisible to me?”.

I looked at him and with some quick thinking, I  say “Yes sir, there are three of us in the car. That is a prime number”.

The cop laughs and says “Have a good night” as he walks back to his car.  No license, no registration… just have a good night.

I was leaving a Pool Hall in Queens New York, I had my pool stick in its case and my buddy wanted to go to another bar. I was afraid i would forget the pool stick at the bar and never see it again, so I stuck it in a bush on a side road.

Later on, we are quite drunk at 2:30AM, and stumbling back home. We walk past the bush, and I reach in to grab the pool stick, but I can’t find it.  I knew it was in there, because who in their right mind would go looking through a bush to see if some idiot stuck his pool stick in there?  I pulled out my lighter, and set it on high to give me more light as I dig around for it.   As I am crawling through the shrubbery, lighter blazing, I hear my buddy say “How are you tonight”, and I look up to see a police car with the blue lights on and the spot light right on me.  I guess they were trying to help me find the pool stick….

I crawl out of the bush and say to the officers. “Ok, I know this looks bad, but I swear, there is a pool stick in that bush.”, and I explain my story.  The cop kind gives me a look as to say “Are you shittin’ me?” and she tells me “Let’s see the pool stick” as she continues to manicure her fingernails.  So I jump back in the bush, digging around, and about 15 seconds later I jump out of the bush, with the pool que in my hand waving it over my head, and i shouted “Tah-Dah!”.

The cop just shook her head and drove off.  I thought we were going to get drunk and disorderly.  Not from the pool stick confrontation, but actually because of the noise we were making as we were telling the story to each other, just to make sure we had it straight, and uncontrolably laughing while walking back to our neighborhood at 2:30AM.

But then again, this *is* New York.

That’s right.  Remote code execution vulnerability for the human heart, and I’m not talking about the kind of vulnerability where some heartless bitch takes your heart, stomps all over it, and walks away with half of your money.  Although that particular vulnerability is a tough one to patch as well.

A team of hackers, scientists and 45 year old virgins were able to successfully manipulate a common model of human pacemaker to deliver a potentially fatal shock to the pacemakee (pacemakee : one who has a pacemaker).  The signal can be sent wirelessly to the pacemaker, interrupting the devices functionality after a two way communication handshake is completed between the hacker device and the pacemaker device.

Fear not though.  “To our knowledge there has not been a single reported incident of such an event in more than 30 years of device telemetry use, which includes millions of implants worldwide,” states a pacemaker representative, adding that “newer implants with longer transmission ranges (… ) also had enhanced security”

In all fairness, sneaking up behind them and yelling “BOO!” might be more effective, though my research shows no definitive data on that theory.

Ever see a president swat a fly?  Yeah, well how about in the oval office?

Here’s the dramatic sequence of events as it unfolded.

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The scene seemed fairly typical.  Nothing amiss.  Though during a CNBC interview between President Obama and CNBC reporter John Harwood, there was an unseen menace lurking about, ready to unleash his fury.  Being one of earths most pervasive and intimidating creatures, the common housefly has been known to cause immeasurable damage though means such as infestation, and pestilence.  Luckily for the US public, we hired the right man for the job!

As the lurking menace reared his ugly head, Obama utilized his Presidential authority and took action.  Without conferring with his top aids and diplomats, without UN approval, to the shock and amazement of the world, Obama used ninja like reflexes, swatting the fly down to earth beneath him.

True story. Obama one, fly zero.

Keeping to his integrity as a reporter, and dedicated to relaying the whole story, Harwood described the scene as “Niiice!”.  The oval office broke into applaud, truly a respectful display of appreciation for the danger that our Commander In Chief took head on, without fear, casually commenting “Whadaya think of that Gibbs!?”, “I got that sucker”.  And yes, yes he did get that sucker.

Instantly, the TV headlines showed a new clip.  “President Obama swats fly during CNBC interview at White House”.  The stock market jumped.  People gathered in the streets to celebrate.  Terrorists everywhere slept uneasy that night.

Ok, maybe I exaggerated a little bit on that last paragraph, but still, clearly we chose the right man for the job.

All hail the commander in chief!

There is officially a new category devoted to my “Google is Evil” series.  I’ve been saying for years that Google is too powerful and that they will eventually be broken up.  Everyone used to tell me I was crazy.  People still do, but recently more people are starting to understand my “Google is Evil” philosophy.

I was recently advised to add a “Privacy Policy” to my site… for… uhhh… legal reasons n’ stuff?  Also, I was told that when Google scans my site for archiving, they will give me better advertisements if they like my privacy policy.  So i did….

What I didn’t know was that adding a privacy policy would mean that Google can start scanning my visitors cookies and serving advertisements based on their browsing history, rather than the content of my site.  Great success.  I think.  Now I do realize that the privacy policy protects myself and Google by clearly stating what we* will and will not do with your information now that I have clearly stated that your personal information can and will be pillaged.

The irony is killing me inside.  I love it.  Below is an actual screen shot I took just a few minutes ago.

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That being said, I have no intentions of removing the privacy policy, but I will consider signing up with another affiliate network.  I will also consider finding out how many articles I can post in my “Google is Evil” section before they drop me.

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*For the purpose of this article, the term “we” will be defined as “Google, not me”.  As of the date of this article, and for the foreseeable future I have no plans of doing anything with your browsing history.

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